Funny Letter to the NSA

Dear NSA,
If you are reading this I would like to thank you for all the effort you guys put into invading people's personal space. It must be so hard listening to other people's phone calls or keeping info on that girl you are stalking. It must be especially rough to play World of War Craft and find terrorists by completing quests. We all know real terrorists set up their evil schemes through video games. You guys should also check out Borderlands 2 and Call of Duty. A lot of people play those games. Maybe even terrorists. I can safely say that I do not have any info that will link me to terrorists. So please call back that drone you have sent to my house.

Whenever I hear your name I am always reminded of that joke in The Simpsons Movie where the people are listening into stupid phone conversations. "The government actually found someone we are looking for!" I love that line. Who can argue with all the successes you guys have had that no one has heard about? I am sure that real terrorists are careless enough to use open media to talk about their secretive plans. You guys should check out movies. There must be some terrorist propaganda in their. There is a new Hobbit movie coming out. Gandalf looks suspiciously like a white, old Bin Laden. Think about it. Gandalf recruits a bunch of dwarves to take back their "home" land. The dragon Smaug clearly must be the symbol of infidels. Disney's Frozen had a song called "Let It Go". "I don't care what they are going to say. Let the storm rage on. The cold never bothered me anyway." That line sounds suspicious in a different context.

Also thank President Obama for me. I am so glad he lied about his promise to not continue the NSA program. No word could possibly express the joy I felt when I heard he actually expanded it even more. He defiantly made the right decision to try to arrest Snowden. How dare Snowden inform the public of government dishonesty. I am sure our founding father's would want him dead. The Bill of Rights clearly supports the government invading our privacy. It says so in the 4th Amendment, I believe. Thomas Jefferson would be proud.

Keep up the good work,
A Man Who Is Not Guilty At All